Another “aha moment”

I had an “aha” moment yesterday.  I went in the lower level bathroom and opened the cupboard under the sink to get a new roll of toilet paper only to find 10 huge paper towel packets shoved in.  My first reaction was “what has the hubs done now”.  I was all set to search him out and give him a lashing when I suddenly thought, “hey, maybe I did this in one of my drunken stupors”.  (I tend to have blackouts when I drink – go figure when you put away a 5th of whiskey in under 4 hours.)  Me.  Yup.  It was probably me that did it.

Alcohol makes us do things we don’t normally do.  It robs us of so much.  It skews our perspective, even when we are sober for a day here and there.  It makes us want to blame everyone else but the real culprit, if we take the time to stop and think about it, boils down to just us.  Maybe it’s me not him, not the world, not whomever.  Aha!!

Just for today I will not drink.  24 hour read today says “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.  We always get worse, never better.  We can never recapture the good times of the past.

Two weeks sober tomorrow.  I am so thankful that I put the bottle down and picked up my life again.  Just for today I will not drink because then I will remember everything I do.  Well maybe some of it – I do have senior moments – ha!!

Namaste, Audrey

 

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8 thoughts on “Another “aha moment”

  1. YAY on 2 weeks!!!
    I once hid £300 in a drunken stupor, it took a long time and pulling the house apart to find it.
    xx

  2. I have been there. Trying to remember the night before…it so horrible.
    The guilt, even if you have no clue what you are guilty about.

    Sober is so much easier.

  3. Just found your blog this morning and gobbled it up. Timely. Here’s to no more blackouts and to loving our pig dogs. I have two and the other morning, while I was at a workout no less, the pigs ate all of my gluten free bagels I was wanting to try. Fortunately I guess without the wheat their insides didn’t explode but they sure bear-pooped all day so I can relate to your story of the other day. I laughed out loud at your blog post about women who drank “only” a bottle of wine a night. That’s me. The bottle or bottle 1/2 girl. Although I’ve read that anyone who “can’t” get through the evening without something is really abusing alcohol. I suppose there are probably not many who “can’t” get through the evening with 1 glass of wine…..and then stop. I know there are those who can enjoy 1 glass of wine every now and again (my folks) and move on, but these past years have told me I’m probably not that gal. Wish I had been passed along those genes.

    • Loved your story about your dogs – LOL! And the way I look at drinking is not “how much” you drink, but whether or not YOU think you have a problem. I didn’t mean to minimalize those who drink 1 or 2 glasses of wine (obviously that was not me) and if you think you are fine with that and you don’t worry about it – great. But when you start thinking this is not right, then that’s when you need to decide whether or not you should quit.

      Anyway, best of luck on your journey. I just know that alcohol and I don’t mix so I am giving it another go to remove it from my life. for good.

  4. Hello! Your post struck a cord with me as I’m now two weeks sober! I’m loving it. Loving being healthy and clear headed. I’m reading about relapses as the second week just seemed so much easier than the first. I don’t want get into the thought of being “special” and being able to drink in moderation at some point. That wi be a tough one for me.

    • Congrats on two weeks!! That is awesome. Yes alcohol is a sneaky little bugger – just when you think you are good to go it creeps into your head. Stay strong. Do whatever it takes. Alcohol is just not worth it. Plus it is poison!! You CAN do this!!

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